What you need is a sugar daddy, diamond rings and a brand new Caddy.

I am amazed at the fact that my father has managed to devour half a praline cheesecake in two days. My father is hardly overweight. In fact, he is very average in size, about 5'-5" and 160 pounds. I have witnessed this man eat enourmous amounts of greasy, unhealthy and fast foods and never gain a pound. He absolutely adores both sweets and salty snacks. That man can throw down some serious groceries, yet I am mystified as to exactly where he puts it. I have concluded that my father is either (a) bulimic, (b) has one heck of a tapeworm, or (c) just pretending that he is eating and is really feeding the imaginary dog under the table.